How mediation helped Vicky

“Before mediation I couldn’t sleep because of the worry, I hated leaving my own front door. At mediation we agreed on a ‘smile and wave’ policy. We’ll never be best mates but at least I can feel at peace in my own home.” Vicky, Wandsworth resident

Vicky was referred for mediation by her local housing association. Initially anxious that mediation would only ‘make things worse’, she later decided that it might help to talk to a neutral person. The mediators came to her house and discussed the problems she was having with her neighbour, Anne.

The mediators then met with Anne, who was equally stressed about the whole situation. The situation had even resulted in Anne having to take time off work for anxiety. After an initial meeting the mediators suggested both Anne and Vicky meet together at a round table. After hesitation, both agreed to meet together.

At the round table Vicky and Anne were able to speak about the issues that mattered most to each of them. Vicky’s main concern was the noise coming from Anne’s house. Anne was equally frustrated about Vicky’s dog, which barked at her every time she left her house and scared her children. Both agreed there were solutions to these issues, and drew up a simple agreement. The agreement outlined what they were both willing to do to reduce noise levels, including a policy to talk to each other if the noise became an issue further down the line.

Two months later, both Anne and Vicky are able to live next door to each other without the animosity and conflict that had plagued them for so many months.

Space to reflect and resolve

We have seen how people who are experiencing conflict can often feel trapped, unable to even imagine a way forward. Mediation provides a space in which to explore fresh possibilities and, more often than not, it brings practical solutions within sight.

Mediation helps people like Anne and Vicky to hold a difficult conversation in a safe environment, acknowledging a conflict situation and offering a space for communication about the best way forwards. A mediator does not judge or provide an opinion but instead works to build consensus between both sides, helping to arrive at an outcome that both parties are happy to accept and move forward with.